Category Archive

Son, yesterday, you blew me away. You made me cry endlessly and stopped my heart cold. When I saw your face, I fell in love once again in my life. 9 months I thought about what you would look like and today, my questions have all been answered.

Around 4pm, your mom started pushing and pushing and even the doctor said that she was a great pusher. She pushed so hard that her face turned maroon but after 20 mins of intense pushing, your heart rate dropped below 40 bpm. Dr Wang said that she was going to perform an emergency C-section if that were to happen and at the drop of a hat, they wheeled your mom off to the O.R. My heart dropped in an instant but that was all second fiddle when the mad dash to the O.R. was happening.

The best way to explain it is “chaos”. I keep telling people that nurses and doctors were coming out of every door, closet, hole in order to get to the O.R. As I chased your mom down the halls, Grandma and Grandpa Choi finally ended up finding your mom and I but under very stressful and frightening conditions. To add to the pressure, they were escorting your grandparents to the waiting room. Another nurse starts prepping me but by the time I get to the entrance of the O.R., they tell me to hold on for just a minute. I stood there while thoughts of every worse case scenario came into my mind. By the time they let me in, they had already pulled you out and I heard your voice for the first time. You made me tear up in an instant. “Congratulations! It’s a boy” they all shouted! When they heard that I didn’t know your sex, they all took a moment to say how amazing that was and how that is how things should be.

I finally made my way into the O.R. and the moment I did, they handed me a pair of surgical scissors to cut your umbilical cord and then I saw your face. I cannot recall what I thought the moment I saw you cause I had mixed emotions about your mom’s surgery. I could not see her or hear her and the thought that she was not there in your very first moments, well it made me very sad. Of course, I didn’t have my camera on me as I got lost in the shuffle. As funny as it sounds, the only camera I had on me was my iPhone and well, that was gonna have to be good enough. So I must have taken about 50 photos in just a few minutes before I had the opportunity to give you a kiss. After pissing on the nurse, getting I.D. tags, diapers and being weighed, I was able to finally take you to the recovery room where your mom was going to moved to.

After what seemed like an hour, your mom was wheeled in and I was able to see all the pain she was in. I have never seen your mom in that much pain, she is usually a trooper when it comes to pain and it tore me up inside. In all her agonizing pain, I knew the one thing that would counter the hurt was to see, hear and feel you and to me, this photo is worthy of the one picture to represent your first day. To your mom and all the mom’s out there, you have my continued respect and thank you for doing what you do. Men would definitely crumble if we had to do anything near that. Thank you to all the doctors and nurses at Kaiser for your talent and skill and most of all, your love. It really shined through and thank you to my wife, you will never know how much I love you. Happy birthday my son!

To follow this blog, go to CalvinGreyChoi